I’m rushing off to catch a flight to Texas for a Whirlwind Wedding Weekend, which calls to mind some very sage advice I’ve been meaning to publish on the internets: Namely, beware The Wedding Glow.
To get straight to the point (there isn’t much time! my flight leaves in one hour!) The Wedding Glow is the phenomenon by which a person who would not otherwise seem like compatible mate (or even a reasonable pursuit) becomes—under the influence of an open bar, dancing, readings from 1 Corinthians, fancy dress, and this song—THE MOST ATTRACTIVE PERSON ON EARTH.
So what if he/she is demonstrably socially inept? Love is patient, love is kind, love forgives.
So what if he/she is a vegetarian? Just look at the bride & groom! He’s in finance and she’s in law, so CLEARLY opposites attract! Grab that man who [intentionally] ordered the vegetarian alternative dish and MAKE IT WORK!
So what if he/she has been a good friend for many years and there is really no point in upsetting that harmonious co-existence now, at this juncture in your adult lives? You had never seen him in a tuxedo. For all you know love has been standing right in front of you, all these years, and you just couldn’t see it behind the Adidas flip-flops.
The good news is, according to my friend Adam, that when you are married, The Wedding Glow works for you, because it reminds you both of your wedding, and makes you fall in love with your spouse all over again.
Of course, he and his wife Melissa are basically the raddest couple ever to grace a marriage license, so if you want to go ahead and hate them, this blog won’t judge.
In the end, I suppose, The Wedding Glow is largely benign. After all, weddings are designed to encourage drunken, candle-lit hookups between people who would never otherwise get together. They are in that way an exercise in third-party date rape…but in the best, most romantic way possible.
Still, I urge you: Talk to your children about The Wedding Glow. And if you succumb, as we all sometimes do, I have taken the liberty of designing the following someecard for your future use: