Every so often—but mostly, inexplicably, in rest stop bathrooms—I come up with some blog concept that seems to hold promise in the sense that it (a) stands alone as a singular, unifying theme and yet (b) allows for myriad iterations of content.
Those ideas are quickly, summarily, rejected. Here are some examples:
1. The Yuppie Confessionals: In which I catalogue my transition from destitute fuzzy-legged hippie to fully-employed New Yorker, one expensive good or service at a time. Possibly entries include: “I just thought they looked cool and now I accidentally own Tory Birch flats,” “I get physical cravings for a cab ride,” and “I moved into an apartment with a washer/dryer! But now I miss having someone else fold my laundry.”
Yeah, I know. It’s super obnoxious. That’s why I don’t do it.
2. Gross Things I Do When Nobody’s Looking: This is a relatively straightforward, totally terrible idea.
3. My Telepathy: In which I tell you what you’re thinking, because chances are, I already know.
4. Goddamnit, automatic toilet I’ll flush when I’m good and ready.
5. That’s what she said she said: In which I simply repost everything from Sanam’s blog, without changing a thing or giving her credit.
Anyway, the point is, east coast rest stops are totally whack. Would it kill you to serve Diet Dr. Pepper in a can, ya liberal fucks?
Another point is: now that you’ve caught a glimpse of the alternatives, you can all be grateful this blog exists. Even you, Carter Logan.
“You must be sure that the intention in your heart is large enough to contain all wrong turnings, all disappointments.”—Happened upon this today while flipping through an old journal. Not sure what book it comes from, but it comes from pg 202 of that book.
A list of my favorite new things from the year 2010.
#10: The Beatles: Have you guys heard of this band? They are really very good. The songs are super catchy, and sometimes you even find yourself wondering if you’ve heard them before. Especially that one that goes, “Hey, Mr. Mustard man/doo-dee-doo/la-la-la…”
#9: The Social Network: Never before has a movie so inspired me, in the sense that I realized you can talk very quickly and still be quite popular. Not popular in the sense of people like you, but popular in the sense of rich. And friends with Justin Timberlake.
#8: Chicago, the city: Emerging from near-oblivion in 2010, the city of Chicago proved to be a contender in America’s Most Fun Cities. My inaugural trip there this summer featured such delights as, “The Lake that Dreamt it was an Ocean,” “The Bar that Dreamt it was a Baseball Diamond,” and “The One-Night Stand that Wanted to Play Widespread Panic and Dance Around the Apartment and I Kind Of Figured this is a RED FLAG but I’m Only Here for 24 More Hours so What the Hell Why Not.”
Thank you, btw, to Katherine Julian and Kelly Marrs for an amazing trip.
#7: Photography: What a hobby! You can express yourself artistically without having to learn to draw. I totally recommend it.
#6: All Tomorrow’s Parties: Holy Shit. This is hands-down the best music festival in America. As Carter put it when he pitched the trip back in March: “It’s kind of like The Shining meets Dirty Dancing meets Rock n’ Roll Summer Camp.” And it was true. A big hats off to Carter, Jasmin, Erik, Meghan, Joey, Joy, James, the sound guy from Girls, Iggy Pop, Jim Jarmusch, and the lady with the crazy makeup booth in the lobby at 10 am.
#3: The Chairmen of the Bored: Never have I ever met a group of people I so instantly wished I had known since childhood. I like them all so much it makes me shy. Too bad Sanam is moving to London and ruining everything.
#2: Framing: It turns out everything looks better with a frame around it. So much so, that in 2011 I plan to have myself framed and hung on a wall, so everyone will say, “Ooh, that looks so much better than I thought.”
And the #1 New Thing from 2010 That I Learned About that is Awesome?
Um, hold on let me thumb through my planner…Colorado? No, I knew about that…PJ’s house? I mean, awesome, but not #1…weddings? plane trips? snowboarding? new tattoos?..no, i knew about these things, too. Shit! This is hard!
OH! I remember: You really can call two places home. And it only hurts a little.